Korean Fathers Dream of Being ‘Friend-Like’ Parents—But Most End Up Exhausted and Overworked (Yonhap)
SEOUL, Nov. 17 (Korea Bizwire) — Many South Korean fathers envision themselves as warm, engaged, “friend-like” parents before having children. But once parenting begins, most find themselves becoming something very different: busy, tired, and time-starved.
A new survey released Sunday by the Korea Population, Health and Welfare Association, KoPHWA) shows a wide gap between the fathers South Korean men aspire to be and the fathers they feel they actually become.
The poll, conducted last month among 418 men with minor children, asked respondents to compare their expectations before parenthood with the realities they face today.
The most commonly imagined ideal was a “friend-like dad” (19.4%), followed by “a dad who plays well” (14.0%) and “a dad who spends time with his children” (9.9%). In practice, however, the top reality was “a busy dad” (15.1%), ahead of “a dad available only on weekends” (8.3%), “a tired dad” (7.0%) and “an exhausted dad” (6.5%).
Respondents attributed the gap to heavy workloads, lack of rest, and the unexpected difficulty of childcare. Many said they felt too drained after work to meet their own expectations for hands-on parenting.
Before becoming parents, fathers believed they would excel most at play (44.3%), followed by education and cooking. In reality, they reported feeling most confident about household chores such as cleaning and dishwashing (22.5%), with play (21.1%) and cooking (13.6%) trailing behind. The most difficult aspect of parenting, they said, was education and discipline (32.1%).
When asked what support fathers most need, 33.5 percent cited financial assistance for childcare, followed by institutional support such as parental leave (28.5%), counseling and parenting education (20.4%), and childcare services (16.3%).
KoPHWA President Lee Sam-sik said the findings demonstrate the gap between high parental ideals and the emotional and time pressures fathers face.
The organization has run a “Fathering” program since 2023, offering psychological assessments, counseling, and play-based parenting workshops. Among participants this year, reported scores for parent-child relationships, confidence in caregiving, and understanding of their children rose by an average of 34 points after the program.
Lina Jang (linajang@koreabizwire.com)
